discord26

Tomorrow I am going to WW after being away a week. It's going to be scary because I know that I have not stayed on program. I haven't strayed wildly from it either. I'm going to take that weight and move on. I'm going to get back on track even if next Thursday is one of the few scary days of the year for all weight watchers. The dreaded Thanksgiving.

I can't beat myself up for the weight. I'm fine when I'm in the zone but the zone is off in the distance right now. It a lot of things...work...RL...the total disruption of routine at work. Work seems to be the source of my food issues right now. I think it's because everybody has stuff on their desks. I also had a weird week where I had to cut my fluids to the bone. Why? Hi, the company took out all the bathrooms on the floor I'm on. I literally have to take a ten minute break as I head off to the Ladies Room. I used to drink two 32oz bottles of water at work. I'm down to a couple of cups of tea. I also gave up coffee. This alone has totally skewed my diet. I was so thirsty that I began eating junk.

I can go on program again and I'll probably lose ten pounds. That's great but I need to lose about forty. The only way I'm going to do that is up my energy level. In January my health insurance changes and they have special deals and rebates on gyms. I need to do this because I'm almost a slug. My job has me sitting on my ass eight hours a day. I have very little contact with people beyond my cube. I'm too tired mentally and sluggish from inactivity to actually do anything. At my highest weight I actually went to the gym three or four times a week and walked a few miles a day. Something happened and if I don't fix it I'll need a wheelchair to get around.

Yesterday

I was given scary October to do. I was not given something which I could increase my production...No, why would anyone what me to be productive especially when it's one of my goals for the year. I was given reviews of six people. One person had over thirty items and I gave them eighteen procedural errors and one payment error...so far. I give up.

My manager sent out an e-mail. There is a big employee recognition event next month. People who have been at the company milestone years like five, ten, etc will get a service reward. I got one last year. The e-mail was to tell us the committee wants us to nominate someone for a special reward. The categories are kind of stupid and I would be distorting reality by choosing someone for any of the categories. I'm on a team where no one needs to interact with anyone else most of the time. I also don't think it's cool to nominate oneself...although I can see myself in a couple of the categories. Whatever...

Roman Dusk

Does anyone remember my quote form the book regarding St Germain and the Mary Sue of the moment? Well, I got to the earth shattering encounter. No offense but it was a "tale full of sound and fury...signifying nothing." There is this a brief heavy petting session which the woman's brother walks in on. This really had better not be the thing that I have suffered through 280 pages to get to. It's quite annoying. And No, I didn't finish the book yet.

The Market

I give up. I'm sick of all this panic. At the rate the Market is dropping it is probably going to crash. It's lost almost fifty percent of it's value this year. I'm not investing any more except for the work 401K. All my other money...what little is left...is going to be used to pay down the mortgage and slowly accrue in the bank. I'm stuck in the stock market for the next six years or I'll lose most of the money it took a long time to save. The next person who even mentions growing my money for my retirement will be shot by me in fit of aggravation.


Work calls...TGIF!!!!!

So I was sitting in work around 8:20am on the phone with P.

Me: "I think that we're going to have to turn the heat on by Saturday because it's going to get very cold."
P: "The heat is on."
Me: "Huh?
P: "It's one thing when the floors are cold but it's another thing when the carpets are cold.
Me: "Well, okay then."</a>

Yes, my house was warm last night. The heat is not high but just enough to take the chill off. A benefit of the heat is that my arm which I was having problems with is a lot better. I think I have arthritis in my shoulder and between the air conditioning at work and the lack of heat at home I was having problems raising my are. This morning...there was less pain and more movement.

I finished the stupid audit. I went to try to get more work and my manager said...I'll send you a new report...I don't have it. Amused...I think not. I was doing testing but not really. Why? Nothing was working. I had the feeling I knew why. My manager told me to go into a certain testing environment but he was wrong. See I haven't really tested in a couple of months so they changed the testing environment and only sent an e-mail who were testing at the moment. This aggravated me big time. The thing I tested passed but I had to do research because my results were coming out wrong according to the expected results. The woman writing up the test transposed numbers which kind of defeated the purpose of the test.

Bummer...a friend of P's works at The Out of Town News in Harvard Square and it's closing down. I heard they extended the lease until the end of January. Besides R losing his job ...the freaking thing has been open for 53 years and is basically a landmark in Harvard Square. Harvard Square has changed and not in a good way.

The Market

OMG WTF!! Welcome to 1929 real soon.

Work is calling...ewww....

Glaceau Vitamin water...XXX...OMG, it's bloody awful. It's a combo of Acai...Blueberry and Pomegranate. It was a test and it kind of failed as a drink. At least I get the nice bottle.

Okay...onto another topic.

Let us speak of bone chilling cold. How long do you think I can go without turning on my heat? I don't think much longer. I'm thinking at least by the weekend because it's dropping into the twenties at night and it's in the thirties during the day. Yeah, I'm thinking that Saturday is going to be the day. By then all the new curtains will be up and all the drafts plugged up. I've already closed off the top floor of the house. Have I mentioned that my fingers are a lovely shade of blue?

Here is stupid:

I have Comcast and I've already written about the deal we got for the coming year. Basically we get all the premium cable services, phone and internet for the price we are paying now. They are supposed to go up next month by about twenty dollars with half the premium services. I just talked to P about it last night. Included in this thing is a DVR. I asked him if he were kidding. We have three televisions and three Tivo's. What the heck am I going to do with another DVR. P tried to get them not to give it to us. They said we have to take it because it's part of the package. I'm either going to switch up P's Tivo or stick the thing in the closet. It's gets delivered today. The one thing I don't have to worry about if I actually use it is setting it up. I can set up a Tivo in my sleep. Whatever...at least we get Showtime, Cinemax and The Movie Channel. I kind of missed them...we dropped them at the beginning of the summer.


Here is another stupid:

I watched CSI:Miami. Why is this show on? Please tell me because I'd like to know? This is general comment of the last two weeks...

1. If you work in a crime lab it's not cool to play a practical joke on the new coroner by hiding the body. Especially, when it jeopardizes evidence.
2. There is a kidnapping...Where are the FBI? Does everyone on the earth have a moronic teenager who does stupid things because apparently he's going to be more successful then the authorities.
3. Who in the name of God dresses Ryan? In the last episode he was wearing a light orange shirt and a dark orange tie. Is this the reason I keep calling this show Miami Vice?
4. Please stop with the close ups of Emily Proctor's face. She looked normal once...a season or two ago.
5. Since there is not much story they keep having slo-mo montages of people doing lab tests. Sometimes the scenes are tinted for artistic effect...probably. If they cut those scenes the shows would be about fifteen minutes long.
6. 3D IBIS database...Seriously, what is the budget for that crime lab?
7. Major crimes seem to be solved in a few hours unless people are wearing the same clothes for weeks.
8. Has Teri Polo lost a lot of weight?

Again more stupid...Page 259 of The Book. I have 85 page left. For some reason I can only read it on the train home. I need to finish it. Oh, St Germain is finally under suspicion for something. It took 259 pages but someone is finally going to make his life...er...death...difficult and put some excitement into this book...I hope(fingers crossed).

Work...31 reviews for September to go...have I mentioned they're incredibly scary. I have to do a little creative writing to get through them.

I'm just recovering from a really odd dream last night...so bear with me.

I was extremely wiped out last night...along with being incredibly cold. We have not put the heat on yet. I decided to grab a nice cup of peppermint tea...every quilt, comforter and plush blanket I own and decided to read in bed. Of course that lasted about three pages(The Book is sapping my will to read but I am determined to finished the blasted book) until I started to get drowsy. I put the book down and enveloped myself in warmth. A little while later as I was nearing a deep stage of sleep...P asked me how to set up a Paypal account. I'm drifting toward consciousness and trying to tell him what to do. The problem was I was talking but not making a lot of sense. I eventually woke up kind of. He figured it out himself...sort of.

Now to the dream...It was one of these really complicated dreams full of forensics and horror. I could deal with that. The problem was that it had some really odd work element and...wait for it...it all had to do with setting up a PayPal account. I woke up and told P never to do stupid things late at night. If he had asked me when I had gotten home I could have saved myself trying to think and let us not forget....The PayPal Dream.....key the thunder and lightening.


Yesterday

I was totally screwed up...Thank you, manager. I was working on October...the scary, craptastic sample. Around 9:30am my manager sends out the rest of September. Excuse me but ...Huh? I was finished with September. Oh, it gets better. He resorted the report that was there, that people were working on. I was getting my cube-mate's reviews. It's probably a good thing because she screwed something up and I had to fix it. She really doesn't understand stuff. This hell went on all day.

I went to the library to get rid of my books and maybe pick up something else. Forget it. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The BPL in Copley Square has a lot of books but it is almost impossible to find anything to read. I walked out...I had books at home...if I ever get finished with Roman Dusk. 238 pages and nothing has happened. I will finish it!!!!

Today

I know LJ will be down but I'm barred from it most of the day anyway so I will survive. Hopefully, I can post this before they take the system down.

Market

Come on people stop it. I was watching Bloomberg this morning and the guy said that he expected some devaluation of stock but this is way over stated. There is no reason for people to be panicking like they are. The whole Market is looking at things short term...like for the next six months and not long term. Long term accounts for most of the investments that are being lost...401K and other retirement accounts. Don't shoot me but I think that they should not bail out the auto industry. They should allow them to file bankruptcy. This is actually their only real chance to be restructured and pointed in the correct direction. Otherwise they are throwing billions away. If the three big auto makers are bleeding out over two billion a month what the heck is 25 billion going to do for them. It is a stop gap measure and does not address the problem.

I know it will have a pyramid effect in the economy. Isn't it better to fix this right the first time then find ourselves in a bigger hole later.


Work calls.....

Let's recap a little...shall we?

Friday

I finished my September audit and my manager gave me more craptastic reviews for the month of October. I was not terribly amused. I think he's purposefully doing it to keep my production low. The Director gave me a little project which actually consumed a bit of the day.

Saturday

I did not go to WW. I was not in the mood.

This was the one year anniversary of M dying. I didn't do much. I had gone up to the cemetery on Monday. I went out for about an hour to shop and do errands and then I stayed in the rest of the day. How di I start the day? I watched the Ghost Whisperer episode which I swore I was not going to watch. First, Yes I cried a LOT. Secondly, I said WTF? over the last five minutes. That was followed by ..."Give me a break".

I basically parked on my living room couch most of the day and watched the Tivo. I was also extremely depressed so I'm not responsible for the content of my meals.

Sunday

I went out for a while. I had a large iced coffee...decaf. I'm sorry to say that it does not have the power of a fully caffeinated drink. It was a weird day. Saturday was in the 60's and 70's and Sunday was cold and windy. I'm not talking a breeze. I'm talking gale force winds. I have to check the back of the house at some point because I have this huge, huge tree...taller than my three story house and it was hitting said house with branches. It was so cold I was looking for my winter coat. No, we have not turned on the heat yet. I'm trying to hold out until after Thanksgiving. We'll see.

Recap over....Odd bits.

1. I was out Sunday when P called me on the cell phone. Comcast had called to tell us that our bill was going up. We have phone, internet and cable with them. They had a deal. We get everything(including Showtime and The Movie Channel which we had dropped) for the same amounts we're paying no. The deal is for a full year. We took it. So now I have all the pay services again. Yippee! P has to call before the 21st so they don't give us a DVR. I don't need another DVR...seriously. We have three televisions and three DVR's already.

2. I have not finished the frelling book. The big event at the moment is a trip to the Coliseum to watch Christians be rip to shreds among other things by an assortment of animals. Other than that...nothing has really happened with St. Germaine. I'm bringing back the other CQY book I have because I don't have the energy for it.

3. I have to pop by the library to bring that book back as well as The Sunflower and Rebecca. I was going to renew Rebecca but it's suddenly popular.

4. I have to go to a mall or something soon. I need to let P know what I want for Christmas. Difficult is a word. I really don't want anything. I have put a moratorium on the purchase of books(clutter), music(Are there any good songs anymore?), beauty products(I could sell what I already have an turn a tidy profit) and maybe movies(I have all the pay services...why bother?). It's going to be a problem. Most of that problem is that I'm trying to de-clutter my house.

5. P is a problem in terms of Christmas presents too. He has everything. Most of the problem with getting me a present can be stated here. We are both trying to de-clutter the house.

6. I knew my sister had to move. The housing she's in is being renovated and they are moving all the residents around to other duplex apartments in her neighborhood. The stupid thing is they are moving her December 18. Merry Christmas.

I have to work...bummer

Yesterday, I mentioned the vivid dreams...today...they need to stop. I'm serious. I woke up this morning confused and reeeally wiped out.

The Dream

1. Dr Who(no particular one) got sucked up by this alien eye/fish-looking thing. Then he started to walk around inside...like the TARDIS.
2. In one of the rooms was a woman in red and white who was bemoaning the vampire experience.
3. I went to a shop(not sure what they sold) and there was a woman I knew at my first real job. I have not seen her in almost twenty years because she moved to one of the Carolinas.
4. For some reason Twitchy was working in the shop and it upset me.
5. The woman recommended a fast food restaurant. I went there and there were two dinners on the menu and they were both bok choy which you got with three drinks. I woke up thinking of bok choy....why????? I wasn't even clear what bok choy was until I asked P.
6. Through this whole dream there was something important and dangerous lurking out of sight.

I know it doesn't sound like much but there was also some CSI, Angel, True Blood and Law& Order: Criminal Intent thing going on. Oh, I forgot to mention Jack the Ripper and Sherlock Holmes.

On to other things...

Just saying...I think there is something very fishy about me being a Senior. Twitchy is one and he's given project and is very full of himself and salaried. I, on the other hand, have asked my manager for a job description(because I was supposed to set some goals)...All yesterday he kept telling me not to worry and that he hadn't quite put the job description together. What is that? Right now I'm feeling under used and not taken seriously. Okay...except for the bok choy I think I've explained my dream.

Yesterday was also totally of the stupid. My company is on two floors of a building. On my floor they have two Men's and Women's rooms each. They were supposed to be renovated. On one side of the building they were supposed to tear out the two bathrooms and make them one big Men's Room. When that was finished they were supposed to do the other side making a huge Women's room. This was not supposed to be done at the same time. Wednesday night there was some miscommunication and they started demolition on all four restrooms. I walked in yesterday morning and was not amused. They are now trying to restore one set. Why? Approximately 150 emplyees+coffee and water-restrooms= Approximately 150 pissed(there's a pun there) employees. We all had to go to another floor and add to the strain of restrooms being used by about another 200 employees. Of the stupid for sure.

Btw, I have my third goal...It's that one where I have to take some Leadership Seminar by next September.

I have 14 more reviews which would have been done if I had not had to Go Walkabout in my company looking for a bathroom and had not had my time wasted by the testing process. I was given something to test which of course was not yet configured. Stupid.

Market

I need another few 552 point days please. I just want my portfolio to look like it did when I opened it. I don't need extra at the moment. I just need maintenance.

I have not finished Roman Dusk. Why? I'm on page 220 or so and there is still nothing happening. There was a party, a couple of pointless conversations and some relative of a minor character who was mentioned but not seen died in a fire. The good thing about this book is I just happened to notice that there is a glossary in the back of the book. The Shock!! Yes, now I can figure out what three fourths of the words mean. CQY should do this in all of her books. I'll finish it this weekend if I don't fall asleep though it(that's why it's not finished yet). I highly recommend the book for people with insomnia...it will put you out like a light.

Television

Bummer: They canceled My Own Worst Enemy. I kind of like the show and the next episode looked to be interesting...Is his wife a plant(not of the leafy variety)?
Fringe: P finally saw a couple of area establishing shot that look familiar. This is not a spoiler but how the hell did Olivia get to Germany so fast? I'm thinking 8 to 10 hours because it's 6 to Ireland from Boston. I love how she flew through the airport in Germany and there was not one disgruntled traveler. What the heck happened to Jared Harris? P did not recognize him...he's changed.

Work calls...................

You know what I have noticed over the past couple of weeks? Can't guess? My dreams are very detailed, very odd, very intense and very action packed. I wake up extremely worn out. I'm wondering if I could have one dream which is me laying down watching the sky in the middle of a lush green meadow with just the hint of a breeze. No...I have a dream which is part Bones, My own worst enemy, CSI: Whatever, Angel(Yeah, Christian Kane showed up) and a James Bond movie. Somehow it's work related but not really.

Humor of the morning;

I walked into work this morning and headed to one of two ladies' rooms on my floor. I opened the door and the walls were gone. Not a good thing. I went to the other bathroom and some of the toilets had been unbolted from the wall. Still not good. See my company is renovating the bathrooms. I knew this but I did not know they were going to start this last night. WTF? I now have to go on a journey through the company to find another bathroom. Wait till 250 about 350 people get over their morning coffee and need a little relief. It's going to be interesting.

I was in a dark mood yesterday because I'm supposed to think of a goal to accomplish for this coming year. Hello, I'm not even sure what my job is anymore. I'm also being excluded from large projects and I'm chained to reviews. We are so backlogged it's criminal. Today I'm supposed to have that goal and I'm in testing.

The emo is still there but it's light out so things seem less dire to me.

Other things happened yesterday.

I was minutely productive.

My team has a meeting from 2 to 3:30. This was probably the source of my angst. Things were said...not about me...but about jobs in general. I had told my manager that I had to be out of the meeting no later than 3:30(my actual departure time. He ran over. I walked out of the meeting at 3:35 because I had a meeting with my financial advisor at my house.

My financial advisor advised me not to do anything to my 401K unless my company stops matching.

Now I have to worry about P's health insurance. He's been disabled for two years so they sent him a Medicare card. He's not 65 but he is still disabled. I'm trying to get him into an HMO though his work but his doctors don't take the plan. Now, I have run around and figure this out...or...leave it to his Benefits office to send him brochures and provider directories. I'll let them do their job and then I'll step in at some point.

Humor...I walked into my house last night. The financial advisor was there but I was gawking at my windows. P had put up curtains(nice thick, blackout curtains) in the living room. It put me into shock for a moment. He also did my bedroom. That's two rooms down and a whole bunch more to go.

Lunch is over...I had healthy food :=(

( To save people the emo )

I may post something later.

It's been a few days since I updated so here goes:

Friday:

Work...

I find that I'm having trouble getting focused on the job. It could be the lack of caffeine or it could be the constant interruptions. I may have said something to my cube-mate which could be off putting. She asked me in what I perceived a very flip and joking way, "How is your production?" I turned to her and said, "Don't take offence to this but the constant interruptions are making it difficult to do my job. I'm having problems focusing when I have to explain things." I don't know how she took it but it's the truth. I'm supposed to get a specific amount of these reviews done. Every time she asks me a question is pisses away twenty minutes of my day and screws with my concentration. This has been going on since she was hired over six months ago. I'm moving on and trying to get my job done.

Saturday:

I went to WW with MK. I lost a tenth of a pound. I was hoping for more but whatever. I need to really get on track with this program. I'm pretty much gliding along and maintaining for the most part. The subject of the meeting was very key for me. It was , Taking Care of Yourself. I can truthfully say that this is something I do not do. My focus is always on other people for the most part. Oh, I whine and moan about myself but I don't really lift a finger to fix or change things. I really need to work on me. I need to get back on track with the eating and I definitely need to work on getting some exercise. I'm going to go through the Open Enrollment literature from my work. My new insurance company has a lot of discounts on fitness centers. I need to do this because I feel like crap and I'm tired all the time.

The day was spent doing "stuff". Some of that "stuff' included an hour and a half cleaning out the attic Tivo. I seriously watched 34 shows in an hour and a half. A record for me. There were 10 episodes of Ryan's Hope, 5 Episodes of One Life to Live, 5 episodes of General Hospital and 14 assorted shows and movies most of which I happily scanned through. I don't have to go up into that room until next Sunday.

Sunday:

I did something for me. I got a manicure and pedicure. I'm trying to cut back on the whole nail experience but there are times. I'm doing the manicure every three weeks now to maintain. It's the longest I can go with the acrylic nails with out them looking scary. The pedicure was because I was beginning to get an ingrown toenail and instead of waiting two months to see a podiatrist...the pedicure was an option. Everything's fine now.

The day was spent doing more "stuff".


Monday:

I went up to the cemetery to visit my parents. It was the 23rd anniversary for my father. It's almost a year for M but Saturday is supposed to rain so I did everything yesterday. P went up with me. It was a beautiful day. There was a breeze but everything was bright and clear. We also dropped by my Grandmother's and my Uncle F's grave. I don't thing anyone in the family visits them. In the case of my Grandmother...M's mother...there's only one daughter left. Most of the grandchildren and great grandchildren live in other states or other parts of the state. She died in 1970. In the case of my Uncle F, he died in 1975 at the age of 44. He's my father's brother. He had five children. One of his sons died a couple of years ago. His wife remarried and moved to Florida. His other children...one is in Florida, one is a total asshole(he's the one who came to M's funeral), and I don't know about the other two.

On the way up to the cemetery P asked me a question...television related. This sparked off hours of me trying to remember a specific character actor's name. I had this huge mental block about it. All I could remember was his first name was German. I kept thinking Hans or something like that. It turned out to be Fritz Weaver. P was no help and he couldn't figure out who it was from my clues. Now, I have to here him rib me about those same clues.

I went to the bank when we got back to Somerville. I took half of my savings account and stuck it in an 8 month CD earning 4%. I will rebuild my wealth...I WILL!!lol

General comments

I am having the worst dreams over the past four days. These dreams are very detailed and leave me exhausted. Cut it out subconscious...I need to relax.

I'm not going to spoil anyone but : Ghost Whisperer WTF!!! I'm going to have to put off watching the next episode for a couple of weeks because Saturday is the one year Anniversary of M and I can't sit and cry my eyes out over a television show.

I saw Numb3rs and was sadly bored by it. Come on people get back on track.

I did not read anything of Roman Dusk over the past few days. I have to get back to it...I am on page 194 and there is still nothing happening...except...Roger is back. Yippee!!!! Tomorrow, I have to renew States of Grace because I can't renew it online.


Work calls....

( cut for kvetching about work )

Okay...I don't feel better but I got some of it off my chest...behind an lj cut yet.

Yesterday

A minor work observation about yesterday. I got absolutely nothing done because I was like a no"Mad" wandering through my company. I had to talk to people and get resources to do my reviews which were totally unavailable. About the only thing I accomplished was doing my 10,000 steps to better health. My Director threw me a research bone which lasted a bit. I finished my Open Enrollment for my benefits.

Humor

I wrote the big post on Roman Dusk and went on line to see when it was due back at the library. How about the answer...November 6th? I couldn't renew online because I was exceeding my quota. I had to go to the library in the middle of a rainy, miserable day to renew a book which I'm starting to hate with a passion(not really). Mission accomplished. I also looked around for another book...I got A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham. Surprise...surprise...no vampires.

Today

iPod...reviews....I just need to get through the day.

I'm off work Monday. Not because it's a holiday. The 11th is Tuesday anyway and no one celebrates Veteran’s Day so I'll be at work. Monday is the 23rd anniversary of my father's death. I'm going up to the cemetery to see him and M. I'm not sure I can make it up on Saturday the 15th which will be a year for her. I'm in a very funky mood today.

Let's start the day off on a totally different note. Let me talk about the book I'm reading.

Roman Dusk by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. By now you're probably asking yourself, "If she has nothing good to say about the book why does she keep reading this author?" That's a valid question. I don't hate this author. I have in the past liked her novels. I read Hotel Transylvania, The Palace, Tempting Fate and a hand full of others. I read them. I enjoyed them. Something happened. I don't know if it is me or the authors style that has changed. It's probably me.

I love history and I love horror novels. A bit a both rocks my world(over-stating here). I also like a story with a little action. I don't need a Jerry Bruckheimer production but a little movement in the plot. I also have become a little particular in my reading tastes since exploring the internet. I originally read her stories in my innocent youth. Now I have experienced slash and I almost can't go back. The St Germain books are pretty clean and pretty straight. I almost cringe at the sex scenes or lack of them. They often read a step above a Harlequin Romance. The OTP in her stories are St Germain and Roger. The author doesn't know it but you can read between the lines. I mean come on...these guys have been together for thousands of years. They sound like an old married couple. Most of what I'm reading is pre-Hotel Transylvania time period so there is no Madelaine de Montalia. There is Olivia but she's pretty much background.

Lets get back to Roman Dusk. I am on page 148. Nothing has happened. I've already related the signing of papers, the catching of the thief and the beating of a prostitute. Well, since then we've had a sick old woman, a daughter who is giving up her youth to take care of her(sound familiar) and the most vanilla orgy I have ever read/experienced. What is the point of the book? I'm not really sure yet because nothing has happened. Btw, through this whole 148 pages Roger has only been mentioned a couple of times and has written a letter to his "Master" once. At some point this is what I'm supposed to look forward to...from the blurb on the book. "Determined to claim pleasure for herself, Ignatia invites Sanctus-Francicus's attentions, inflaming him with the power of her untapped sexuality. Unfortunately, they are not unobserved, and their simple yet powerful act of love sparks a conflagration that destroys Ignatia's family and nearly brings about the vampire's True Death." Hello, he's basically a eunuch. It's all touchy feely and a lot of oral sex. What's the big woo.

Okay, sounds a bit stupid doesn't it? I'll be reaching my second childishness before this thing gets going. Personally, I want some really intense scenes where the vampire goes crazy. I want ravenous hunger and fangs and something more than a study in manners. If I wanted that I'd read Jane Austen.

Guess what? There's another one in the wings called States of Grace. After that I'm putting a moratorium on the reading of the author's books for a while...a long while.

Yesterday

The same as the day before. Although, P has been getting into a cleaning mood at home and gave his Doc Savage paperback books to the New England Science Fiction Association which is around the corner from my house. They have this huge library and they're expanding into a vacated space. I said he should have put the stuff up on e-bay. He said he was not in the mood. He didn't get rid of the stuff we could sell for big bucks...but still...why? There were also the two Doc Savage books I actually read on occasion...The Fortress of Solitude and The Devil Genghis. He felt bad so he's getting me the illustrated reprint for Christmas.

Today

More reviews and NPR.

Yesterday....

I was not as productive at work as I could have been. First there was the two hours of listening to vendors about my new benefits information. Yes, I survived. Then there was the hours of my cube-mate asking me the same questions over and over again. I know this is new for her but she's been here for six months or more and I've gone over this stuff bazillions of times already. What my manager needs to do...I may have said this before(senior moment)...is have her experience the job that she is quality checking. Every analyst has come from the department we audit so we know stuff. She's from outside the company and actually the industry. She needs experience. I can't spend a couple of years going over and doing every one of her reviews. Just saying...

I voted. Let me relate the experience. Early in the day I looked out my work window and saw lines of people backed up all over the place and thought, "Shit, this is not going to be good." I called P around 11:20am and asked where he was. He had just come back from voting. My question..."Was it crowded?' His response, "There were hundreds of people." "Are you kidding?' I asked worried. His response, "Yes, there were only ten people." He said that earlier there had been lines out the door and up the street. I was not thrilled because I was going to be voting around 4:30pm or 5pm when people are leaving work and possibly going to vote. There are roughly 80K people in Somerville of which 50 or 60K are potential voters.

I was talking to some people as I was leaving work. They were trying to figure out where they needed to vote and worried about the lines. I don't vote in Boston so I was more relaxed. I said," I'm all set. I have my mug of tea, some music and a book to read if the lines are long." I eventually got to the polling place. I walked in. There was the policeman...the five poll workers, an alderman and three people voting(myself included). Yeah, the crowds were incredible. ;) I voted. I'm not saying who(probably Nader) because it's my vote and my guy didn't win. The rest of the ballot was kind of a joke. Except for John Kerry everyone else on the ballot was an incumbent with no opponent. There were some ballot questions. The whole experience took five minutes .

Okay, Obama won. Good for him. Now we can relax. We don't have to see, hear or read ads for this campaign anymore. Thank God!!!!!!! I feel like going to church to offer up some sort of prayer. Hello, I don't do religion. Obama is in but what can he really do. It's lovely that there is this mandate but how does that translate getting through the muck and mire of Washington politics. We'll see.

The Market

OMG...keep doing whatever you are doing. I only have to recover about 25K and P has to get back 27K. I see a light at the end of this tunnel. However, oil prices are starting to climb again. This is not a good thing. It will make utilities, products and gasoline more expensive. People will cut back more to spend where it's absolutely necessary which will have a domino effect through the economy. Let's see how today goes.

The Book

I'm on page 100 of Roman Dusk. A thief gets caught, a prostitute get beaten up and St Germain moves within the gates of Rome. Yeah...still nothing really happening. I also have no clue as to what people are wearing or their vehicles or their customs. The writer continues to write like I have my hands on a encyclopedia of costumes or a history book when I read every sentence. She should at least have a glossary of terms or footnotes. This is a horror novel not a college text book. Oh, I'm kind of happy I took those two years of Latin in high school...it's kind of helping.

Today

More reviews. A possible team meeting(I hope not).

Now to get me some co...er...tea. Have I mentioned that most of my tea is caffeine -free? Last night I walked through a Dunkin Donuts parking lot...twice ...without succumbing to temptation. Can I have some sort of medal for that. whimper...coffee...I miss you. lol

Recap of yesterday...of course.

Brief aside: My cube-mate kind of annoyed me yesterday. She started a conversation with someone at her desk around 8am and talked with them for an entire hour. It was not work related. I hope that other person was not busy because that carved an hour out of her day. My cube-mate is just starting to do the very easy reviews. My Manager gave her some more advanced ones. Eye roll...She has never actually worked in the department or field she is reviewing. She wasted part of my day when I had to show all the resources and applications she needed to go through to review the things the Manager had given her. She was lost. I told her to skip over them and talk to the Manager when he get in today. He was out yesterday.

I was slightly productive...179 reviews....385 to go. All scary.....

My roof is fixed...I think. I have this small area of roof in the back of the house. It's above my second floor bathroom. There were some slates missing and the tar looked all cracked and in need of repair. I told P to hire someone because I'm getting water damage in my bathroom ceiling. The guy came around noon yesterday and fixed it...I think. The roof outside my third floor window still looks crappy but apparently things have been done. The big test is any rainy day this week. It's guaranteed for a year. Whatever...All I can say is...It did not cost an arm and a leg. I can now throw the money I was hoarding for this project into some CD's. I have a bank account giving me 1%. Oh for the halcyon days of 5%.

Status of me...better. I'm going to start taking my fluid pills tonight. I have meetings and voting. I don't have time to look for every bathroom between work and my house. ;) The arm is still screwed up but I'm just going to keep trying to do the things I usually do. I don't care if it takes longer to reach up to get something off the shelf, etc. I bet this issue is because of the damp cold weather and my works insistence on keeping the air conditioning going. People are freezing.

Today

I have a two hour meeting on my benefits. First, I'm not happy about my new insurance. I used to get a rebate back on my WW. The only thing this insurance does is waive the introductory fee. Big help that is. I've been going to WW for five years and I'm on the monthly pass program. No more cashing my receipts in for $150 next year. I don't know if I'll do the flexible spending account because I'm trying desperately to buy junk so I won't lose my money. I didn't have a lot of copays this year.

Voting

I still haven't made a decision. Nader is looking pretty good to me right now. I'm kind of a Democrat but I have some decidedly Republican leanings. I'll vote for someone but I'm in a Blue state so what I do will not tip the election one way or the other. The only annoyances are...the little cubby hole I have to vote in, the potentially long lines and having to walk past Dunkin Donuts on the way home...caffeine....caffeine...... I am voting and everyone else should too. GO VOTE!!

Work....tea...long meeting...long day....Oh, I'm on page 53 of Roman Dusk and absolutely NOTHING has happened except some papers were signed and a wagon was unloaded. Hello, keep my interest pleeeease!

Boy, was I a bit of a mess last week. I may be better this week but it's the wee hours of Monday so there is potential either way.

Friday

I had some sense of accomplishment at work. I actually got 209 reviews done. That leaves me with about 570 to go. They have temporarily put me near the phone team. I have to admit that I had a couple of instances on Friday when I wanted to run up to the person on the phone and say, "No, you're telling people confusing and inaccurate information." I curbed that need. This will all come out when we begin monitoring their calls and also the results of their reviews. Calming mantra.

I had absolutely no one come to my house for Halloween. There are barriers...screwed up front gate, no porch lights and a lot of thick stained glass which lets the light in but not out. I look like I live in the scary, old, dark house.

Saturday

I went to WW with MK. I had to laugh because she said that six kids came to her house. She sat out basically eating the candy waiting for people. It really didn't make an impact on her weight. Now me...I gained but I have my reasons. I'm simply bursting with fluid. Since I have my period my pills do not work. I've also been living off of soup all week. Nice soup with about 750mg of sodium per can. I did not eat any Halloween candy which is truly amazing. I was trying to avoid chocolate because of the caffeine and potential headaches. I was way up but we'll see what happens in the next weigh in after the great flood.

It was cold in the morning but it warmed up. This did not impact me much. I kept bundled up. People probably thought I was crazy but I was incredibly cold. It took almost an hour for me to get on the same page as the weather. It's another thing on the list to talk to my doctor about. Why are my fingers always purple? Speaking of my doctor...I'm also having problems lifting my right arm. It's more annoying than worrying. I have no clue what the problem is. I'm just going to do some minor exercises to keep my range of motion until I see him. It's kind of stupid because I have not fallen on it, laid on it or done anything(except the flu shot) which could cause this. I dislocated my shoulder once but that was the left one which is doing wonderfully.

Sunday

I ended up not going on the walking tour. There will be others. I live in an area with all sorts of Victorian Mansions and historical houses. I think there is something to do with Alexander Graham Bell up the street from me somewhere. It was really cold and I was feeling like crap(Worst day of you know what).

I had a slightly odd incident around dinner. Btw, we eat dinner around lunchtime. Anyway, P was making some food and I was in his way. I eventually got out of his way and we sat down to eat. I was crying and he said, "What's wrong with you." Me..."I don't know. I'm depressed." His response, "Cut it out. I already have one sister who's crazy. I don't need another." I was sort of better later. It's freaking hormones and the time of the year. I hate November 10 until the end of the year. I may be better in a couple of day...at least a bit better.

I finished the book and I'm kind of onto another. The book is called Roman Dusk by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. I'm trying to get through all the books I missed. I may end up skipping this because it's starting to annoy me. Basically take the mini-series Rome and take all the interesting stuff out of it. I'm on page twenty and everybody is so mannered and polite it's just annoying. It took two pages for the characters to sign some estate documents. We'll see because I'm going to the library Wednesday or Thursday.

Odd occurrence of this morning. I received an invite on my Facebook. This guy who has my great grandfather's name said he was hoping I would friend him because he wants to find everybody with our last name. Who knows he might be a far distant relative. He went to University in Bari, Italy. My grandfather was from Canosa di Bari. What do I have to worry about...the guy is in Italy. Who knows maybe he could hook me into getting some Italian vital records. It's just a thought.


Work calls...

I can tell by the date that it's Halloween but that's about it. For some reason I'm not feeling the spirit(pun intended). Does everyone get the feeling that this is Holloween instead of Halloween? I know why I'm not getting all excited. Let's see...hmmm...an almost constant media stream of election and economy coverage. I have seen one story this year on Halloween. Of course that story was on how even in dire economic times people are still trying to celebrate Halloween. Half of the story is little Johnny asking if he can have the latest gadget to scare the crap out of his friends while his mother says, "We can't afford that this year, son." Next, it's winter-like out. It's so cold in my house that I was beginning to lose feeling in my extremities. It's dark. Who is the genius who decided turning the clocks back later in the season was a good idea? It's still dark at 7am. Thank God this all changes this weekend because it's making me SAD(Seasonal Affective Disorder). lol

I tried to get in the Halloween mood. I'm wearing my t-shirt with all the hooded skulls on it. It's from the LL Cool J collection at Sears. It's either Halloween or I'm hanging with my Homies. It's casual day at work and I'm dressed like a teenage boy.

Yesterday was a good day. My manager gave me a good report to do. A little over a thousand reviews. I was able to get about 250 done. This excited me...why? I've been sloshing through a lot of crap lately with a production of forty a day because of it. This gave me a little kick start. Today should be more of the same.

The Market

All I have to say is ....Yippee!!! Can we do that again and maybe all next week? Pleeeease!!!!!!!!!!


Work calls....

I'm back...miss me. Well, I missed me. Let's return to Tuesday...shall we?

Tuesday

I was in a terrible mood most of the day. I thought it was because I was working on the most annoying reviews of my life. I was also had a great sense that I was not accomplishing much. I kept being given crap to do and there is also this great push on being productive. The crap I was getting was netting me about forty reviews a day. According to the chart we were given I'm supposed to be doing over two hundred. I almost finish the first report and I get another crap report. I was livid. I fumed and thought about not going to work on Wednesday.

I'd also like to add that I haven't been a hundred percent for the past couple of days. Nothing earth-shattering but my stomach had been bothering me. I also had a couple of little bouts with nausea which I attributed to caffeine withdrawal.

Wednesday

I woke up at the regular time and was ready to leave when my stomach started to act up. I thought I was okay but I was wrong. I ended up not going to work. I took copious amounts of stomach medication, had some tea and went back to bed. I woke up a 1:30pm. It was tea and soup the rest of the day. It was also getting caught up on Tivo. I watched House, Fringe, NCIS , Fringe, True Blood and My Own Worst Enemy. I may have hooked P onto Life as an alternative when nothing else is on.

Today

I'm slightly better. It took almost an act of God to get me ready for work. The final result of trying to get ready is: I left my tea on the kitchen table along with one of my gloves. I brought lunch but we'll see if I can actually eat it.

My boss left me a voice-mail telling me that he gave me the wrong report. He didn't want me to work on October. He wanted me to work on September. He didn't actually give me a report but I’ll work on the last one run and he can let me know what on the report he wants me to do when he gets in. This may relax me a bit because there are reviews where I quality check the computer. People ones take a lot of time to do.

The Weather

WTF is going on? It's close to late November weather than late October. We haven't turned on the heat yet and the house is cold and damp. I'm dressing in so many when I'm home I look like I gained back all my weight. It was kind of depressing me for a few minutes. I'd look in the mirror this morning before I changed into work clothes and had a shock. I'm standing there with three or four layers of shirts and this huge warm sweater. Then I disrobe...I think I was losing about ten pounds per layer of clothing. I went from a 24 to a 14 in two minutes. If only that would work as I try to get to a size eight.



I'm seriously thinking on the walking tour on Sunday. It's not like it's far from my house. They are looking at the architecture of the neighborhood. There are a slew of Victorian mansions. P said if I go and they end up on our street...don't let anyone know what house is ours. Right now my house is not terrible looking but it needs work...cosmetic work. Actually, it's my lawn which needs work. I'm convinced someone has put a curse on the lawn. I had a tree planted a few years ago. It has since uprooted itself and given up the ghost. I have a Rose of Sharon bush which is now a Rose of Sharon tree. The freaking thing is up to the second floor window and a bitch to trim. What is the positive spin on going?...drinks at Old Magoon's Saloon.


Work soon....Tea...iPod...quiet.

I'm a lot better right now than I was yesterday morning. I was upset by the move and let me tell you a lot of people were upset by this temporary move. At some point in the next couple of weeks my new location will be constructed and my whole team will be moved over. Right now they have mixed three teams together who do totally different things. One of the teams is a phone team which I audit Btw. This creates interesting issues...Like I cannot talk to my co-workers about reviews I am doing of that team to get or share information because I am within earshot of those being reviewed. Lovely...huh?

Yesterday, just upset me. I may be better but I refuse to unpack. First, I don't want to have to repack in two weeks. Secondly, there are no keys to lock my stuff up. My computer was fixed which kind of made me calmer. I 'm trying not to think of the ick that was all over the desk they moved me to. I used half a can of cleaner.

I accomplished very little yesterday because my attention kept getting diverted by things. Computer malfunctions, an e-mail from my Director asking my opinion on a large issue and the constant noise. Remember, I'm cut off from most of my team....I'm stuck in the middle of a call center and fifty other people are having similar melt downs as they try to get used to their new if temporary digs. Today should be better.

I've mentioned that I gave up my 32oz of iced coffee in the morning...right? That is also darkening my mood a little bit. It's also screwing me up too. I'm over the migraine-like headaches but I'm just a little more testy about things. I know I'm a walking meltdown most of the time...if you experienced my level of frustration on a daily basis you'd be mercurial too.

Today, I am going to put my earphones on and listen to some very varied and interesting podcasts.

The Market

I have not looked at my accounts since Friday. I know they're down because the world is totally fucked up. Yesterday seemed like a calm day as there was a reasonable rise and fall of the Dow. However, the minute I enter into the blackout period between leaving work and getting home it does totally stupid things. I wish people would just accept that we are in a Recession. The government is doing what it can but things take time...CALM DOWN!! Have I mentioned that oil is probably going to be free soon? I was reading the Metro this morning and oil futures were like $60.30 a barrel. On the way home yesterday I saw gas selling for 2.58 a gallon. Let's hope it's a nice quiet day. I'll look at my accounts on Friday. I can't afford to have my hair dyed again so soon. lol


The Library

This is the deal. I brought back a bunch of books. I brought back my Tanya Huff book, Blood Lines and Blood Pact, and actually returned another of her's called Smoke and Mirrors. It might me I've read too many vampire books recently. I also returned the Judith Tarr book, Dagger and the Cross, because I have to be in the mood to read the book and I'm not. I returned Third Man Out by Richard Stevenson because I actually got hold of the e-book. I stood in the library praying I'd find something. I got Rebecca by Dauphine Du Maurier, The Queen's Necklace by Alexandre Dumas, Schopenhauer's telescope by Gerard Donovan and Powwow Highway by David Seals. Let's see how these fare. Right at the moment I'm reading The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness by Simon Wiesenthal.


Television

I'm becoming totally numb by the amount of stuff to watch. Thank God I have a large capacity Tivo because I can't possibly watch everything. I do other things...really I do.

Possible activity. I was reading my flist and I saw that there is a walking tour literally around my neighborhood on Sunday afternoon with drinks afterward at the local pub. Here's the info http://www.victoriansocietynewengland.org/E20081102.htm I may go...we'll see.


Work calls

Actually the dark clouds are not looming they are right over my desk at work. I'm trying to remain calm but livid is a word. Over the weekend they moved everyone around. First, I'm not at the location I was told I would be because that doesn't exist. Next, they set up my keyboard in that annoying thing under the desk. I usually have the keyboard on the desk because I kind of like to have my legs under the desk when I work. I'm tall, not terribly so but my legs are long. I am also blind as a bat and cannot sit three feet from my screen. Oh, yeah it's so low that I would have to sit bent over most of the day to reach the keyboard which would be lovely for my herniated disc ....calm. Then, to make me even happier the mouse was set up on the right side. I admit that I am right handed but I cannot function with a right handed mouse. I'm wondering did the guy setting this up not notice that the mouse was oriented for a left handed person...calm. I have five bins worth of crap to unpack but first I have to find a place to put it in. The previous tenant did not completely clean things out and did not leave the keys...calm. They also put me at a desk where I'm staring into the overhead light...I'm having issues with light and my eyes. I'm not even going into the headache I still have after five days without coffee. I'm probably going to be an utter bitch today but... whatever.


Friday

Packing, stupid audit, I finished my book.

Saturday

It was warm out...I lost 3 pounds at my WW weigh in(God know how?). I sat out on my porch for a while...in the sun...in the warmth. My house is 10 to 20 degrees cooler than outside. That's like really wrong.

Sunday

It had rained but the day turned out pretty good. I sat out on my porch for a while. I also seemed to have a lot of energy as evidenced by my manic cleaning. I cleaned my bedroom, the bathroom, did clothes and a million other things.

I tried to read. I started three different books all of which I'm bringing back to the library today.


I have to get to work....annoyed is a word for possibly the next three weeks. :(

I'm convinced that I should not do anything before eight o'clock in the morning...especially internet banking. I'm at work and I decide to review my accounts online. Seems harmless...right? Well, if I had coffee and some brain cells left that might be the case but I'm working with what I have. Anyway, I was looking at my checking account and on last months statement I saw that I wrote a check for $5000. My fist reaction was WTF!!! My second was to try to click on the hyper-linked check image. I got an unable to retrieve from the archive message. Then I started to panic. Somebody had stolen my check book and wrote a check(very unlikely) or I was supposed to write a check for 500 and I got a little over enthusiastic(totally unlikely because the banks usually go by the written amount on the check). I sat for a few minutes scared that my money was gone. The dawn came gently to my addled brain. I had set up a savings account because I was never going to let other people play with my money and I needed to save to get the roof done. Coffee seems to be what turns the little gears of my brain. Without it all is lost...

On to other things...

I know where I'm moving temporarily...about twenty feet from where I am now. Upside...I'm near the temperature controls and the kitchenette. Downside...further from the ladies room(I take fluid pills).

I finished working on the testing and things that I found were known issues. That's it for me for now.

Scary, confusing audit but it's Friday and moving day so I really don't care.

I had a very bad headache most of the day. It's caffeine withdrawal...sort of. ABP coffee is extremely strong...not Starbucks strong but strong in it's own right. I switched to hot chocolate which is not as strong...believe me. Today, it's green tea and at the moment no headache. I can't tell if I had withdrawal symptoms last night or not. I had the chills. P looked at me and said, "It's not that cold." I had a very special night wracked with chills and a lovely headache. I'm also very tired. Have I mentioned that caffeine is a wonder drug but very addictive?

Humor:

I talked to P yesterday morning and he said that after he got up he was in the living room watching television and he could see his breath. Yes, it was waay cold in my house. The only room which seems to get any light is my bedroom(M's old room). The rest of the house is very dark which is not helping to warm it up. P said it was probably warmer outside. Probably.

Book:

I need to finish this puppy today. I have about fifty pages. It's taking me so long to read this because I'm tired, nearly caffeine deprived and worried about the frelling Market. I know I have to get over it but it upsets me. Today had better be people looking for a good deal and driving the Market up a bit so I can relax this weekend.

Work is calling...I'm going for another cup of tea. Ta